Monday, August 21, 2006

Settled down, therefore running

As a teenager I used to always wonder at this phenomenon of people (both men and women) gaining weight after settling down. At times I used to thing that it was bullshit, but then the evidence was right there in front of me. It still is. In the mirror, to be precise.

Its was quite baffling, this weight gain. I lived the same sedantary lifestyle. I ate the same (or sometimes less, since I have someone to share with) food. Yet, inexplicably, the pounds started piling up. And although I had a vague feeling that I was gaining weight, I ignored subtle signs such as pants feeling tighter by deciding to give the fabric the benefit of doubt - shrinkage was after all a thing that science could adequately explain. However, I was rudely jolted out of gentle subconscious awareness of the matter of my obesity and forced to confront harsh reality one day as I on a whim tried out a roadside weighing maching. 81.5 kgs, it proclaimed. I could not even hide behind the alibi of a faulty scale because Seema's weight came out perfect.

Since then I have come up with a theory for post settling down obesity. I dont know if this theory will stand up to scientific testing, but after considering everything and eliminating what didnt fit, this is the only option I have. Being in the settled down state reduces your BMR (basic metabolic rate). And when I say settled down, I should define that state. This has to be past the inital phases of new love. Settled down means knowing that you are going to spend the rest of your life together, knowing each other well enough to drop all pretenses, and generally being able to fart with impunity in each others presense. On a more serious note, i think I have come out with this profound test of whether someone is in "settled down" love or not. When your girl/boy friend says 'I love you' and you dont feel uncomfortable not saying back 'I love you too'. Thats it.

Being in that kind of a state reduces your BMR. I mean, think about it - it substantially reduces existantial angst if not get rid of it completely, you have company around the house so you dont sit around weaving complex mindgames with yourself. You just dont burn that many calories any more.

Anyways, after seeing my weight that day, I said, thats it, and I started out on a serious regimen of exercise (and heres when the humor ends, smart asses, I really did): Weight training and running on alternate days. Thats when it struck me that there was more wrong with my body other than my weight. There was a very slight, but definite pain in my knees, caused most probably by running on tarred surfaces.

On a slight diversion here, I should tell my readers that all my friends share a love - hate relationship with my sports shoes. They love to hate them. For some reason, they just dont like them, and according to my friends, they should be in some junk bin, not on my feet. The main reason for this I think is that the shoes are not washed since ages, and the rubber at the tip of the toe has come out slightly. Now I've been intending to get the rubber fixed and the shoes washed since a long time, but havent got around to doing this. This added to the slight knee pain pushed me into finally relenting and saying Ok ok I'll get the damn new shoes! The fact that it was going to be a gift from my future mother in law also helped.

So we go into the Nike showroom and after half an hour come out with the Airmax 360. Friends, let me tell you that they are really awesome! The price is a bit embarassing to quote tho. What the hell I figured! Its better to spend on shoes rather than an orthopedic treatement. So here I am .. fat, old, and the proud owner of what is arguably the best shoe in the world. Quite a lot to have achieved before getting married, I say! Now I can die... erm..get married a peaceful man! Since this realisation has struck me, I have decided to do that very thing. This weekend. May God have mercy upon my soul! Amen...


Comments:
hehe.. you're going to be fat in your wedding pictures :p now you know what girls feel like!!
(don't mind me, i just like rubbing it in..)
 
SH**! One more handsome eligible bachelor is off the market!!!
 
price tag's too embarassing to mention? What the heck? I thought it was your mother-in-law's bill! There ain't no emberaasment in it. Hippily flaunt the price tag I say - Govinda style, if it suits you!

I didn't have to take that "drug personality" test at all! The description in your previous post fits me TO THE T!

r0CKOn!
 
Correction - mother-in-law to be's bill.

my bad!

r0CKOn!
 
congrats you both!
 
And thus wilts the Chrysanthemum.

Peace and Congrats.

:)
 
Sita - yeah will come to know in a couple of days when I get my pics!

Seema - yes I can see you are heart-broken... dont worry I will still flirt with you ;)

Nikhil - yeah you may be right but its better to keep people guessing! :)

AC, Succubus, Aish - Thank you very much!!

Sindhu - thats great, but hope you dont go into the realm of the invisible! Who's Aloysious hill and what does it/he/she got to do with this post?!
 
oh my god!! congrats guys...wishing you a happy , long ,successful married life
 
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Media Center
Media Center