The Electric Chair

We used to have some essay type questions as part of the entrance procedure. Here are some of the answers received. Needless to say, they did not make it.

· On a question about family values – “To top it all being human is the most important” Yes. Well said. We have a strict no dogs policy.
· On aims and ambitions – “I want to reach the segmented markets across borders as no company has attempted before” I know. They wanted to leave something for you.
· On developmental aspirations – “I would like to develop at least one positive trait in me.” Ahh sir, what lofty and succinct ambitions you have!
· On career goals – “Let me introduce myself to you. At the age of 23 I am married, well settled, honorably employed and a proud father.” Umm an off-beat career, but you sure are the CEO of whatever it is!
· On family values – “My perception of the mankind as the creation of the almighty menat to live in peace, bound by love, destined for prosperity, abound by mutual trust, respect, affection, care, concern and understanding of each other, my family is a prototype of what the kingdom of God is all about” Where? Where is the Nobel prize?
· On weaknesses – “Sometimes I react when water is at alarming height and it can be termed as a mild form of procrastination” Ya mild. In the same way that Mount Everest is high.
· “As the saying goes, Rome was not conquered (blank space)" Its ok. We all have ‘gaps’ in our education.
· “As for the goal in my life, I wish to go where no man has ever gone before.” Too much star-trek, eh?
· “What is the vital characteristics required in a team? Inclination to work together physically” And which activity were you involved in did u say again?
· On family values – “Under the bludgeonings of time my head is bloody but unbowed” A staunch Kshatriya family, I presume?
· “I’m interested in watching cartoons, which has developed a sense of humour” Oh dear… sorry to hear that..
· Career goals – “My ultimate goal is to become the head of a corporate house engaged in production of things ranging from a mere pin to bulky ships and planes” And transport the pins in the ships and planes? What a brilliant idea!
· “Family values are like the bouquet of flowers which contains each and every kind of flowers and has the capacity of satisfying every human being” And it is no wonder that everyone in your family has taken ikebana classes.
· “I took in my hand the task of preventing collision of trains in my hands as part of my pre-engineering project” That’s simple. Just keep your hands apart.
· For passing 12th standard – “It was really a hard nutshell for me to crack” Even harder than cracking this joke?
· On prizes or achievements won, sole entry – “Stood third in the singing competition in my school in 1984.” Sorry we cant take you; you will give others inferiority complex
And this one takes the cake:
· On what would you like to change about yourself – “I have noticed that while moving very fast I tend to become unstable and I wish I had a tail because that would give me balance” No comments!!!!

# posted by A Chrysanthemum by any other name... : 12:50 PM