The Electric Chair

I remember, when I was a kid, very rarely doordarshan would show some amazing program, probably from National Geographic or some other foreign channel about wildlife. There would be lions and tigers, deer and bears. The high point of these programs would be the chase. The cheetah would slowly stalk the deer and when close enough would break into a run the way only a cheetah can. There would be not much visible what with the camera trying to keep pace with the dance of death and mud flying all over the place. Then another camera angle in slow motion would show the chase much more clearly. The cheetah running; its spine becoming convex when it brought its fore and hind legs together and concave when they were apart. The final lunge where the cheetah places its fore legs on the butt of the deer and brings it down. The coup-de-grace when the cheetah sinks its canines into the throat of the deer. This was adrenalin-pumping stuff. Family members used to urgently call each other in front of the TV when programs such as these were being aired.

Then came cable TV, with channels like Discovery, Animal Planet and National Geographic. Programs such as the above could be viewed everyday if one wanted to. The thrill of yesteryear was deadened by the ubiquity of these telecasts. We became blasé to the chase, so to speak. Nowadays I change the channel if I see this stuff on TV. I still however know people who watch these programs avidly. This has never failed to intrigue and amuse me. ‘Dude, whats so fascinating? Never seen a lion kill a deer before? After all, it is an act of violence that you are witnessing. I can understand, the first few times in spite of oneself, it is very difficult to tear one’s eyes away from the scene. I remember once I had gone to the zoo, and was at the snakes’ glass enclosure, about 4 feet long, 3 feet deep and 3 feet wide. It was feeding time for the snakes and so a live rat was put into the glass enclosure. There were two snakes in the cage. The rat sat on one of the branches (some artificial environment created) in the enclosure, literally frozen immobile with fear. One of the snakes slowly approached the rat. The rat just did not move. Then the other snake held the first one by biting into its midsection. No the teeth didn’t penetrate, just held the snake back. Somehow the first snake manages to reach the rat, and swallows it. Very slowly. Very very slowly. The time taken for the rat from the tip of its nose to the tip of its tail to go down the snake’s mouth would have been, without any exaggeration, five minutes. For a whole minute the tail of the rat could be seen out from the snake’s mouth moving slowly from side to side, once in a while. I was just transfixed. I could not move away from that enclosure. I recon I was there about 15 minutes in total. It was the first time I had seen such a thing, and I really didn’t see it again anytime. Agreed, that a lion chasing a deer isn’t so gruesomely graphic, but doesn’t wanting to see it again and again imply some kind of wantonness in the viewer? Fine, if this line of reasoning seems a bit far fetched, what about the sheer monotony of it all? How many times would you want to see the same thing again and again?’

This time, I was browsing channels, and saw a variation on the theme. It was nighttime, and a leopard had killed a boar or some animal of that sort, and was beginning to eat it. A crocodile then shows up and thinks the meal is delicious. There is a fight between the crocodile and the leopard, which reminded me of the climax fight between Salman Khan and Shakti Kapoor in Andaaz Apna Apna. Neither the crocodile nor the leopard actually touches each other. Then one more leopard arrives on the scene. And then one more crocodile and so on till there were three leopards and three crocodiles pulling the carcass in their respective directions in furtive attempts to lay claim to the booty. The scene was really funny and my mind went off on a tangent, imagining what it would be if men were the animals (which they frequently are) and there would be a roast turkey on the table (maybe it would be thanksgiving day) and people are making grunting, snarling noises and pulling the turkey in different directions saying in guttural voices ‘yeh meri turkey hai’, ‘mujhe turkey de de’ etc.

I sincerely find it amazing that humans find it so interesting to study the habits of animals and film them and actually send them out as radio waves so that people can see it on TV screens. Would other animals be equally curious about us? What if the panthers were secretly videotaping some of us at this very moment and having viewing sessions with some panther-technology that we are not aware of? What would they show? Guy getting up, going to office? Working amidst office politics and bagging big deals? Going in the evening and trying to pataofy his girlfriend? Having a quarrel in the family? Would the panthers really find it amazing and fantastic viewing material as some of us (god knows why?!) find watching panthers? And then I realized – we don’t need panthers to do this. We are already doing it. TV is full of soap operas showing exactly this. And people watch this as much if not more than they watch the lives of animals.

So the wildlife enthusiasts have the last word. Heres what they would say to me: If you think that wildlife television sucks, what do you have to say about the rest?

# posted by A Chrysanthemum by any other name... : 2:45 AM