Monday, December 06, 2004
Backward forward
I like forwards. Most forwards. Funny forwards, jokes, even those forwards which say "send this to 50 people else your dick will fall off" I dont mind. But i cant stand sappy forwards. Those which say that the world is a wonderful place and ridiculously simplify everything. One such forward ended with the moral "Give the best to the world and the best will come to you :-) " Which really ticked me off.....
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"Give the best to the world and the best will come to you :-) "
Why not just eliminate the middlemen and be nice to yourself? Yeahhhhhh....I will now turn this into some biblical statement or something that reads like something from The Prophet: "And Jesus asked the Lord 'What is thine foremost preaching? What is that all must follow, failing which they shall be desecrating your name?' and the Lord said: 'U dolt! if u dont understand this much, i made a damn mistake nominating u! Man, its common sense...even that blond in "Friends" knows that! Arnold Swaznegger takes it to ridiculous lengths. I can go on pontifying thus, but i'm really fed up with u!! The foremost teaching is, be nice to yourself man!!! Fuck all ur "fellowmen" business....I mean, if u keep subjecting yourself to terrors and hardships, u'll really be in fine condition to show consideration to ur fellowmen!!!!
I mean, if u dont have sense, learn from me!! Aint I nice to myself? Dont I live in this wonderful holiday resort they call heaven....and am i not surrounded by beautiful winged chicks (I gave them wings so that they could finish housework faster and have more time for me) which they call angels? I am happy, supremely happy, and that is why the hardships of ppl strike me, make an impression on me, grieve me...and so i am motivated to help them. Now if I were in rags, starved for 12 years like that Valmiki in the anthill, hadnt ever wanked off after the age of 15, and if someone came to me with a petition of a salary hike to me, do u think i'd be inclined to help him? I'd like Doc Daneeka say: U think u have problems? What about me??
And all u prophets have disappointed me. U are supposed to be my followers, but u do everything opposite from what I do. You go off to jungles and eat berries and leaves for 12 years, sit under trees and make them famous, assume postures which would give contortonists a run for their money, keep chanting in voices more monotonous than Prita George's and generally browbeat your wonderful, charismatic personalities into some schizophonic, psycopathic, convoluted world view...and your body isnt doing well, with the
hardships and starvation either....and thus after several years of raping and pillaging your bodies and minds, it is of absolutely no surprise to me that due to the degradation it is subjected to, added with your supreme desire to have a vision, u do actually hallucinate and claim to have seen me and talked to me.
(Idiots! u dont know that i dont ever communicate except through email. Check your email properly.....especially the forwards...there might be a divine message woven into it) And in that hallucination u obviously see me telling u things YOU have always wanted to hear...the world explained by me, as YOU want it explained.....and then you go and tell happless ppl about it in my name!!! Bastards, name droppers!! Claiming your stupid theories as mine!! anyways, i've said too much already. I must have some mystery surrounding me...otherwise everyone will want those winged chicks of mine for themselves...oops i shouldnt have said this....oops i shouldnt have said i shouldnt have said this....and so on.
Be nice to yourself
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"Give the best to the world and the best will come to you :-) "
Why not just eliminate the middlemen and be nice to yourself? Yeahhhhhh....I will now turn this into some biblical statement or something that reads like something from The Prophet: "And Jesus asked the Lord 'What is thine foremost preaching? What is that all must follow, failing which they shall be desecrating your name?' and the Lord said: 'U dolt! if u dont understand this much, i made a damn mistake nominating u! Man, its common sense...even that blond in "Friends" knows that! Arnold Swaznegger takes it to ridiculous lengths. I can go on pontifying thus, but i'm really fed up with u!! The foremost teaching is, be nice to yourself man!!! Fuck all ur "fellowmen" business....I mean, if u keep subjecting yourself to terrors and hardships, u'll really be in fine condition to show consideration to ur fellowmen!!!!
I mean, if u dont have sense, learn from me!! Aint I nice to myself? Dont I live in this wonderful holiday resort they call heaven....and am i not surrounded by beautiful winged chicks (I gave them wings so that they could finish housework faster and have more time for me) which they call angels? I am happy, supremely happy, and that is why the hardships of ppl strike me, make an impression on me, grieve me...and so i am motivated to help them. Now if I were in rags, starved for 12 years like that Valmiki in the anthill, hadnt ever wanked off after the age of 15, and if someone came to me with a petition of a salary hike to me, do u think i'd be inclined to help him? I'd like Doc Daneeka say: U think u have problems? What about me??
And all u prophets have disappointed me. U are supposed to be my followers, but u do everything opposite from what I do. You go off to jungles and eat berries and leaves for 12 years, sit under trees and make them famous, assume postures which would give contortonists a run for their money, keep chanting in voices more monotonous than Prita George's and generally browbeat your wonderful, charismatic personalities into some schizophonic, psycopathic, convoluted world view...and your body isnt doing well, with the
hardships and starvation either....and thus after several years of raping and pillaging your bodies and minds, it is of absolutely no surprise to me that due to the degradation it is subjected to, added with your supreme desire to have a vision, u do actually hallucinate and claim to have seen me and talked to me.
(Idiots! u dont know that i dont ever communicate except through email. Check your email properly.....especially the forwards...there might be a divine message woven into it) And in that hallucination u obviously see me telling u things YOU have always wanted to hear...the world explained by me, as YOU want it explained.....and then you go and tell happless ppl about it in my name!!! Bastards, name droppers!! Claiming your stupid theories as mine!! anyways, i've said too much already. I must have some mystery surrounding me...otherwise everyone will want those winged chicks of mine for themselves...oops i shouldnt have said this....oops i shouldnt have said i shouldnt have said this....and so on.
Be nice to yourself
Comments:
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bla bla bla bla bla... :-P
i sent u an email. now forward it 500 people or else those winged chicks waiting for you might just turn out to be...not chicks after all.
i sent u an email. now forward it 500 people or else those winged chicks waiting for you might just turn out to be...not chicks after all.
LOL!!
err most chicks have wings....you know the feathered vareity..
and you must send this post to 143545453*10^4 people or your undies will turn carnivorous and eat your genitals
err most chicks have wings....you know the feathered vareity..
and you must send this post to 143545453*10^4 people or your undies will turn carnivorous and eat your genitals
Thank you for elevating me to the position of God (winged chicks waiting for 'you'), I always suspected that it was so. Well, its not a paradox, i'm just a God without much faith. I mean, if I am God, I wudnt blame anyone for that, including myself @ dewdrop
I have calculated that figure and it comes to.. umm.. 143545453*10^4. I know i have just copy pasted what u have written, but if i write it in its complete form, the comments character limit does not allow it. So, I have found out that the number, with amazing coincidence is actaully the fourth root of 1435454530! (and that exclamation is not to be confused with factorial). Well, the number is larger than the total email accounts in the world, and so I have to send this email approx 239872934857 times to each person. Dont blame me for your clogged email! I am already getting kicked out from office for using up all the available bandwidth @ Austra
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I have calculated that figure and it comes to.. umm.. 143545453*10^4. I know i have just copy pasted what u have written, but if i write it in its complete form, the comments character limit does not allow it. So, I have found out that the number, with amazing coincidence is actaully the fourth root of 1435454530! (and that exclamation is not to be confused with factorial). Well, the number is larger than the total email accounts in the world, and so I have to send this email approx 239872934857 times to each person. Dont blame me for your clogged email! I am already getting kicked out from office for using up all the available bandwidth @ Austra
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